shhh.

Many moons ago, me and my friend Andrewlini hatched a plan to take over the world. We thought about starting with Canada. But then we realized that we need to start somewhat smaller. Plus, those canucks have hockey sticks and they aren’t afraid to use them. We Arizonians know nothing about hockey, or ice, or anything that has to do with cold.

So then we thought to take over Montana. If you think about it, there’s really nothing there but a bunch of mooses*. The only problem about taking over Montana is that the Mooses could revolt, and everyone knows that a revolting moose is one of the worse things that you could possibly come across.

Now, either as a gesture of good will, a plot to take over Arizona, or a random act of kindness, a certain person who refers to himself as _mase sent me Seinfeld Seasons 1 & 2. Maybe he is the spokes person for the Mooses and they want to make it known that they are friendly and not planning a revolt. Maybe it is part of the Mooses plot to take over Arizona and this is just a small piece of a huge puzzle. Or maybe _mase is just an extrememly nice person. Whatever the case may be, I was thrilled to open a package right as I was buried in math equations**. Thank you, very much.

I asked Andrewlini for permission to make our plot known to the world. I was feeling bad for planning the destruction of Montana after one of its residents sent me a lovely gift.

Andrewlini said, “Alitler (that’s me), that is kind of scary. I abandon the plot and you are free to make it known to the general public. This is a bad sign already. Why don’t we just take over a different place where we won’t have to worry about Mooses revolting, or people sending us nice things?”

I said, “Andrewlini, you’re extrememly right. Let’s concentrate our efforts on Rhode Island.”

*Yeah, I know that it’s spelled incorrectly. It’s supposed to be for added humor.
**I was most deffinately buried. Two text books, a stack of paper, two folders, and a binder surrounded me. Where was my calculator, I haven’t the slightest idea.

Radiohead – Karma Police

posted: 06 January 19
under: Evil Plans, High School