You know you’re living in 2005 when….

High School — alisa on May 26, 2005 at 9:14 pm

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone
in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial “9″ to
get an outside line.

8. You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.

11. Your boss doesn’t have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to
see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of
the screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your
coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)

17. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to
forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9
on this list.

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I found this on an old blog of mine. I totally forgot about it. You might have read it before if you are that mysterious stalker person…*looks around suspiciously*



Headers

High School — alisa on May 26, 2005 at 3:35 pm

So, what should the header look like?

Cowboy Fun?

Lifeguard Attitude?

The Current One?

The Old One?
Any better thoughts?



Hot? Here? Gee whiz, who knew??

Arizona — alisa on May 25, 2005 at 4:51 pm

Here we go again. It starts getting hot, and now we are treated to a zillion stories in the paper and radio about how hot it is.

It’s Arizona! It’s supposed to be hot here. It happens each and every year, a couple hundred times. On Monday, I was highly educated by a radio spot in which a doctor advises to stay in the shade during hot weather, and to stay hydrated. Really? I had no idea!

And to think I’ve suffered needlessly all these years.

Gee, do they go berserk in Alaska every time it gets cold and snows? I thought the heat just makes people irritable and fussy, but in the media business it turns them into blathering morons as well.

Thank God it doesn’t rain much here, or we’d have a thousand stories on how to stay dry, too. - Mark Christoph, Apache Junction

Copied from the Arizona Republic

————————————————————————–

You know, he’s right. They do tell us every night on the local news how to keep cool. Humans normally know how to keep cool in 110 degree weather. They find shade, go inside, fan themselves, go swimming, drink water, etc.

Pretty soon, we’re not going to pay attention to them any more. Like this one weather man. No one pays attention to him anymore, because he always ends his segment by saying, “Watch your kids around water.” I can tell you what his script will be every day this summer. He says the same stuff every time. Read this, and you won’t have to waste time watching the news:

“It’s going to be hot tomorrow! Current temperature at Sky Harbor is 110 degrees. Here’s the five-day Valleycast. Sunny on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and maybe we’ll have some clouds on Friday. Stay cool, and remember, watch your kids around water!”

And at the bottom of the Five-Day Valleycast is the saying in white letters on a red background: “Watch Your Kids Around Water.”



Rules for Choosing a Superhero Name

High School — alisa on May 24, 2005 at 8:35 pm

1. Don’t call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.

2. Don’t call yourself by someone else’s real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.

3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.

4. Don’t be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.

5. But don’t labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don’t-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.

6. Don’t choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil

7. Don’t choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.

8. It’s no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenital heart condition. It’s just asking for trouble.

9. Don’t call yourself the Invisible Boy if you’re not.

10. Don’t call yourself the Invisible Boy if you’re a girl.

11. Don’t give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.

12. Don’t call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume. You’ll confuse people.



High School — alisa on May 23, 2005 at 9:46 pm

Click to watch video
Click Here or on the picture to watch a boy demonstrate how many guns a pair of pants can hold.



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