Band Name

Q:You know what would be a good band name?

A: Epidemic

I need to remember that. Bands need a good name. I sometimes wonder howcome U2 got to be such a popular band. They are sappy and annoying, and what kind of name is U2? Their lead singer’s name is Bono. U2, Bono, Stupedest Name Ever… Now for the question.

Howcome U2 is so popular?

My friend says it’s because they’ve been around for forever.

Yup see there’s “Bono” with the Ancient Egyptians.

And there he is with Martin Luther King Jr.

And there he is with Al Gore and Bill Clinton.

His theory is a good theory. But influenza has been around for forever and it’s never been popular. Another theory is the theory of Propoganda. I bet they pass out fliers at their concerts that look like this:

Bono: Here, you sappy suckers, take these fliers and pass them out
to all of your jealous little friends.

Dead-Brained Fans: [In Unison] Yes, of course we will
oh wonderful Bono. What else would you like us to do?

Bono: I would like you to be aware that Africa is a continent,
not a country.

Dead-Brained Fans: Of course it is a continent, because
you say so, oh wonderful Bono.

Bono: Now, I am going to hop onto my personal jet,
and leave you with a holographic image that you
can scream at all night.

It’s pretty sad. Their band name is the second part of a sentence, actually. I want you too. Yes, they want to suck your brains out and replace it with all-adoring snot, too. And Bono’s name is what normal people say right before they have their brains sucked out. As Bono clamps them down into a chair and places a brain-sucker-outer machine on their heads they want to say,

“But Bono, I thought you were everyone’s friend! [this is where the brain-sucker-outer machine starts working] Ohhhh nooooo!”

But all they can manage to say before their brains are totally replaced is,

“B– Oh no!” Hence, Bono. It’s disgusting, isn’t it?

Now, I’ll leave you with some music that you can be proud to listen to.

Foo Fighters - All My Life

2 Comments »

1. Witty AND sarcastic! Good heavens, how I laughed.

   Comment by Wacky Wackster — November 30, 2005 @ 2:24 pm

2. Bono was my boyfriend in high school. He has an amazing voice. Their music is top notch because they have a unique sound as Coldplay has a unique sound. When you hear a U2 song, you know it is U2. Too bad your generation is the generation that gets to hear their really inferior stuff (they should quit now because they have lost it, frankly—but they did have it at one time).

   I have ALWAYS thought u2 was a cool band name.

   The Foo Fighters suck.—And I think Nirvana sucked too but that is my opinion. I do, however like what Nirvana jumpstarted. It got rid of the boy band stuff for a little while at least…(New Kids on the Block)

   I figure that since U2 is the better band out there that has a more “positive” message (they pretty much always have), it is a bit of fresh air to me.

   Bono is around quite a bit, but who cares. It is better than Madonna always being around or something. I don’t know, I am glad he is out there. I think he is a Christian.

   Give War a try. It is the embodiment of what all the fake 80’s bands of the 2000’s want to sound like. You can’t argue with that.

   Comment by Rachel — December 15, 2005 @ 6:04 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment