On everyone’s toaster there are adjustable settings for the how well toasted you would like your toast. No one I know puts their setting past 5. I don’t put mine past 3. I’m not totally sure why toaster companies think that any actual person likes burn instead of toast, but they do. Maybe it’s all mind control and it’s just to make us users think that we have power.

Anways, I was curious to see how burnt the toast gets on the highest setting of my toaster.

Here I have the toaster, half of a whole wheat bun, and a watch to see how long it takes.

I set my toster to the highest setting.

Here’s a close up of the bread before I toasted it.

Here’s the bread after the toaster was finished with it.

Here’s the back side of the bread.

It took 3:25.28 minutes

Note: At the 2:20 the toaster started crackling and I was afraid that an electric fire would start. The toast started smoking around the 3 minute mark.

Peter Walker - Young Gravity

Easter is one of the scarier holidays, in my mind. When you’re old like me, Halloween is no longer an issue. Grown-ups in scary costumes are normal at that time of the year. At Easter, however, grown-ups in scary costumes are not so normal.

I came across this site the other day, and it makes me think of 50-year-old sex offenders (or Michael Jackson and that’s pretty scary).

Hello, we are Mr. and Mrs. (who is actually a Mr.) Bunny

What? You saw us on America’s Most Wanted last night and now you’re calling the police?

No, I confess, actually that was me, Mr. and Mrs. (who is actually a Mr.) Bunny’s cousin that you saw on America’s Most Wanted last night.

I don’t know how I’m related; I don’t even know what I am! Hmm…am I a COW or a BUNNY?

Well, I know that I’m related to Chip and Dale.

I’m a dog-bunny. I hunt myself.

I’m the Abominable Snowman-Bunny.

Aaand finally, you too, may become a demented bunny!

Less Than Jake - Look What Happened

Electric President - Good Morning, Hypocrite

I just got back from a consultation…..and I’m having surgery on Friday. This came all very suddenly, but it is either that or sometime in December. Swimming and lifeguarding dictates my schedule.

I’m having all four wisdom teeth out. The room that I’m going to have surgery in is really small, old, and cluttered. It made me uneasy when I was sitting in the chair. I can’t believe they can work in there. The surgeon is nice enough. He’s a big guy. The nurse isn’t very pretty but she is very tall.

Dr.: And what are we here for today?
Me: [What do you think, Mr. I-Graduated-From-Med-School?] Wisdom teeth.
D: And how old are we?
M: [I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should look at my chart and do the math to find out my age.] I’m 16.
D: And what grade are we in?
M: [Enough with the "we" stuff. We are not a "we". Do you understand? And hopefully you don't have a grade anymore.] I’m a junior.
D: Would you like all of your teeth out at the same time?
M: Yeah.
D: Good. Since you are having all four out at once, would you like to be knocked out during the surgery?
M: I would like to be knocked out even if you were only taking one tooth out.
D: Good. You won’t remember a thing.

What is this, some kind of alien abduction? I won’t remember a thing? I’ll be laser-beamed back to earth, into my bed and I won’t remember a thing? Oh and during this abduction I will need a driver to be present in the lobby of the spaceship.

Sugarcult - Memory