I just got back from a consultation…..and I’m having surgery on Friday. This came all very suddenly, but it is either that or sometime in December. Swimming and lifeguarding dictates my schedule.

I’m having all four wisdom teeth out. The room that I’m going to have surgery in is really small, old, and cluttered. It made me uneasy when I was sitting in the chair. I can’t believe they can work in there. The surgeon is nice enough. He’s a big guy. The nurse isn’t very pretty but she is very tall.

Dr.: And what are we here for today?
Me: [What do you think, Mr. I-Graduated-From-Med-School?] Wisdom teeth.
D: And how old are we?
M: [I don't know how old you are, but maybe you should look at my chart and do the math to find out my age.] I’m 16.
D: And what grade are we in?
M: [Enough with the "we" stuff. We are not a "we". Do you understand? And hopefully you don't have a grade anymore.] I’m a junior.
D: Would you like all of your teeth out at the same time?
M: Yeah.
D: Good. Since you are having all four out at once, would you like to be knocked out during the surgery?
M: I would like to be knocked out even if you were only taking one tooth out.
D: Good. You won’t remember a thing.

What is this, some kind of alien abduction? I won’t remember a thing? I’ll be laser-beamed back to earth, into my bed and I won’t remember a thing? Oh and during this abduction I will need a driver to be present in the lobby of the spaceship.

Sugarcult - Memory