Reaching Adulthood
So I turned 18 on September 21. I think being 18 is less about buying cigarettes, cough syrup, and porn, and more about being able to look adult problems in the eye and not cringing.
I think being 18 is about realizing that I need to get over myself.
I think being 18 is about stopping worrying about those social rules that society lays before me. I feel like I can say what I want, ignore who I want, and stop laughing at stupid jokes that aren’t even funny. What will they do? Tell my mom?
I think being 18 is about appreciating art, politics, and the feelings behind them.
I think being 18 is about thinking of myself as equal and not beneath.
I think being 18 is about not hiding the bad days, the bad thoughts, the bad things.
I think being 18 is about being above what other people think about where I put my attention.
I think being 18 is about accepting the thoughts that I have and not pushing them away, because really, there’s probably a good reason that I had those thoughts in the first place.
I think being 18 is about not being embarressed about being interested in the naked barbie pictures on the walls of the local café, buying candles with alcoholic names, talking about sexual feelings, or thinking that medical marijuana should be legalized.
But mostly, I think being 18 is about thinking for myself because, well, I’m an adult now and so my opinion counts just as much as any other adult’s opinion.
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Dear Alisa,
Your opinion has always counted as much as anyone else’s opinion. Being eighteen will not cause people to respect you more, so take the opportunity to begin valuing your own opinion more than you have in the past, a special kind of gift to yourself.
Your thoughtful reflections are going to be listened to in the wider world, so aim carefully when it’s time to shoot those arrows.
Being eighteen also means respecting your parents in a new way. Their advice to you is now just that, advice. You have to decide what to do with it. Whether you take it or not is entirely up to you, but always thank them for their insights.
Thanking them does not mean that you are taking their advice, it means that you value and respect them as your adult parents, and want to continue to have the wisdom of their years as a resource. It is just not your only resource.
Sometimes parents have a hard time letting their kids grow up. Remember that this is because they love you very much, not because they want to smother or control you.
You are learning to be an adult. They are learning to be the parents of an adult. Give them
time. They will get the hang of it.
Love,
Mrs. Sinta
My opinion has always counted with them; it hasn’t counted with other people.
Nice post. I just came across your site via 9rules. I’m into photography as well and I like some of your shots, especially the mug and the cage. I plan on checking out your flickr later! Keep shootin!
and P.S. growing up is all about learning. just wait till your 25 (like me) and look back at the way you were. you will be amazed!
Greg: Thanks! I can’t imagine being 25. Even now I can look back on when I was a freshman in high school four years ago and see how young I seemed. Crazy.